Diary of a Reluctant Homeschooler & So So Muffin Maker

49 minutes ago

5 min read

I'm homeschooling again. Just like that.

And possibly stress baking because I made around 40 muffins today as part of my months-long journey to find a healthy muffin that can be our staple.

Muffins are our breakfast and snack around here. Our daily bread, if you will. I'm looking for one that isn't an undercover cupcake but also doesn't feel like some kind of sprouted punishment either.

I like my muffins gluten-free. No one else in my family does. Hence 40 muffins.

I'll save that for another post.

As I type, I'm in my living room with two out of three of my kids.

My oldest is on her laptop (she's in college), my youngest is in 8th grade and he's reading a book called "The Shakespeare Stealer" while nursing a runny nose and eating a banana muffin (one of the winning recipes).

He's super annoyed that I banned all forms of gaming from morning until 4PM, but handling the news well.

I'm waiting for my third to WhatsApp message me her faraway, dreamy study abroad destination.

I didn't think I'd be homeschooling again this year. I thought homeschooling was behind me when I found a Christian private school for my youngest, but here we are. And I'm not mad at it, it just wasn't my plan.

Last week I posted on Facebook about being a reluctant homeschooler and found out that so many other moms were in the same boat.

Saw these in a shop and became obsessed.

We don't hate the idea of school. In fact, we like a lot of things about it, but this season, whether it was because a child needed extra help or school didn't work out for one reason or another, called for homeschooling.

Last week I also found out that like me, many other moms have had twists and turns on their homeschool journeys.

one sibling is homeschooled, the other isn't
a kid goes to school one year and doesn't the next year
the plan was to homeschool forever an then the dream school popped up out of nowhere

For the longest time I just felt like my kids' academic journeys were so messy from the outside looking in. I wondered why every year just couldn't look the same.

From inside, I knew I was responding to what they needed, the truth of what was going on with them, but deep down I wanted straighter lines, more coloring inside of the boxes.

But life really doesn't work like that. Kids don't work like that.

Looking back, though, I wonder if my middle daughter would have been a good kid to homeschool for her entire schooling career, before she started her post-high school adventures.

She had a hard time in traditional classes. The IEPs, teacher meetings, teachers that followed the IEP, the odd teacher who would decide didn't REALLY require it and just needed to try harder (even though she was giving it her all)...that was rough.

By 8th grade she was severely burned out and checked out.

She liked the social aspect of school. I liked the support of school. No matter how hard we tried and how small the private school was, what she needed at the end of the day was my help and my attention.

Kids are more than their academic life. If they're going through things in their hearts and minds, learning is impossible no matter how many interventions are put into place.

We know this for adults. We don't make ourselves stay in jobs that are draining us from the marrow and that we dread going to (or at least I hope not). But for kids, we kind of just accept that being miserable is part of childhood and academic life.

What worked in the end was her doing a self-paced high school program online, getting her into hobbies she really loved (sewing, crafting), and us spending a LOT of time together. She met up with friends at youth group and after classes.

And she finally had some space to just breathe. No tests every other day. No constantly being behind and having people disappointed. Just peace.

She finished high school over a year early and is happier, more peaceful, and more energetic than I've seen her since she was ten. She gets to be around friends every day and study in the country of her dreams. It was all worth it.

My youngest likes learning and excels in school, but he begged me to take him out of the school he was going to because socially it was rough. It's just not worth it.

Now he takes classes with a co-op and his best friend who is also homeschooled. I even formed an unexpected friendship with her mom who is a first time homeschooler.

Every time I'm determined to be reclusive, He pulls me out. God works in really funny ways.

Homeschooling requires a lot out of me. Maybe that's why I've been so hesitant. You're on all day long.

The academics aren't what's hard. You can get help for that. It's the intensity. The conversations. The pushback that would normally go to a teacher, goes to you. The reminding. The planning.

It's not busy. It's intense because you and your kids are right in each other's faces from sun up to sun down. I love it for the same reason that it's hard.

At the end of the day, I know I'm where I'm meant to be. Seeing my middle daughter finally be able to breathe was everything.

Seeing my youngest not have a stomachache in the morning because he's relaxed and happy is everything.

And the slow mornings are something I treasure. They feel natural but also so frozen in time.

Part of me misses the traditional school schedule and those big blocks during the day where I can get things done quietly. Perhaps I like being in my head a lot.

But seasons are seasons. What the season calls for is what it needs. I remember when my biggest stresses were remembering to buy diaper and getting over the guilt of using formula.

So wherever in the homeschooling or traditional schooling journey you are in, I hope that you have a smooth rock to sit down on sometimes and just take it in without being hard on yourself.

I hope your kids are waking up and going to sleep feeling good and learning in a way that they soak it all in and have a good time.

If you're a reluctant homeschooler like me, doing what your kid's heart, mind, and soul need today, unsure if you're qualified or what the path ahead will look like, keep moving forward.

One day at a time. You got this. A friend recently reminded me to "remember grace."

You're never in this on your own. There is a grace that abounds.

xo Bunmi

What I'm working on....

I wrote a post on my faith blog and recorded a podcast episode about how much God wants to be close to us. Yeah, I used a muffin photo for that blog post, too. I might need a baking intervention.

You can read it here: https://www.bunmiladitan.com/post/do-you-want-him

I created Spotify Playlists for the main characters of my new Middle Grade children's series called David's Diary.